


The Weight Of It

by mists_of_avalon



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anxiety Disorder, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Hurt Sokka (Avatar), M/M, Nightmares, One Shot, Panic Attacks, Protective Zuko (Avatar), supportive zuko
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:33:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26566615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mists_of_avalon/pseuds/mists_of_avalon
Summary: Based on my Zukka weighted blanket promptSokka is nervous to stay over at his boyfriend's place for the first time. Hopefully he can make it through the whole night without Zuko catching on.Zuko catches on and it all turns out all right.Find more https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/storytime-with-nora OR on AO3 Atla Prompts - Have at em!
Relationships: Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 236





	The Weight Of It

**Author's Note:**

> Re-posted (after an edit, thank you for all of the love this has gotten) 
> 
> Feel free to use any of this! I love reading fluffy modern AU’s of these two supporting each other. Two intense lads making each other laugh is my weakness. So I would love to read a long fic where something like this happens. 
> 
> I wrote Sokka’s experience with anxiety and stress dreams from my own experience (not everyone feels and deals with anxiety the same way) But I also hate sleeping away from home, I have nightmares in every hotel when I’m on vacation.

Zuko was draped over Sokka who was spread out on Zuko’s couch, the tv still playing softly next to them. The hand that had beendrawing circles on Zuko’s back for the past hour had finally stilled and was heavy against his back.

Zuko smiled into Sokka’s neck nudging the other awake. Whispering softly into his boyfriends ear.

“Stay here tonight.”

He felt Sokka stiffen ever so lightly beneath him, realizing that was a bit more forward than he had meant Zuko backtracked as he sat up.

“Nothing has to happen, we can just sleep! But it’s late and you had an early shift today and I really don’t want you falling asleep at the wheel and it’s raining - and I got pancake mix…” Zuko trailed off as Sokka sat up grabbing Zuko’s flailing hands with his own.

“Zu, take a breath. Of course I want to have pancakes in the morning with you. Let’s go get comfy.”

Zuko sighed with relief and walked to his room to make sure everything was tidy and to find a t-shirt big enough for his boyfriends broad shoulders.

While Zuko rummaged around for sleep clothes Sokka took a steadying breath and put his hand over his heart lightly pressing against his chest.

_ Everything is going to be fine, it’s one night. You haven’t had any nightmares or stress dreams in months, you can do one night. _

Zuko walked back out of his room to be met by Sokka looking him up and down smiling coyly. He waggled his eyebrows suggestively. Zuko scoffed and relaxed more “In your dreams Sokka, you have been up for 17 hours, you need sleep. Plus I don’t want you falling asleep in the middle of making out, that’s a hit to my ego that I don’t need.” he said holding a soft grey t shirt, boxers, and an extra toothbrush towards Sokka.

Sokka laughed tiredly “fair enough buddy.”

“I thought we talked about this?”

“What? Oh right! I’m not allowed to call you buddy if I’m making out with you on the regular.” 

Sokka winked as he walked into the bathroom.

______________________

Zuko was already settled under a light blanket when Sokka made it out of the washroom dressed and teeth brushed. He smiled at the sight of Zuko all soft and warm looking and climbed in next to him.

Sokka shuffled around for a minute trying to get comfortable in the new bed, after five minutes of shifting Zuko wiggled close wrapping and arm around Sokka. “Is this okay?”

Sokka tried to keep his voice from wavering in relief “Ya perfect Zu.”

“I warn you I run hot so I’ll probably shift back to my side once I’m asleep, push me off if I make you too warm okay?”

Sokka nodded into his pillow. Like he was going to ever push Zuko let alone give up a human weighted blanket.

Eventually Zuko’s breathing evened out and Sokka was left awake surrounded by his boyfriends warm embrace trying to calm his anxious mind.

Sokka and Zuko had known each other for a while, but it was always as “we’re both friends with Aang and see each other at his house parties and events” sort of thing.

They had only started going out two months ago, when a very nervous Zuko asked Sokka if he wanted to grab a tea sometime, and a very surprised and eager Sokka said yes.

They had clicked right away, but Zuko told Sokka early on that he needed to take this slowly whatever this was going to be.

Sokka sighed heavily.

Zuko had been so brave, on their fourth date he sat down Sokka and set boundaries and laid out triggers, informing Sokka that he was working through his own trauma from his abusive Dad to his toxic Ex. And it was by no means Sokka’s responsibility to fix it but if they were going to date this is how he could support Zuko.

He should have said something then, but that is the case with anxiety. Given the opportunity to talk about it you get nervous about being a burden or that you're making it all up or you overshare everything making it all about you. Or at least that’s what ran through Sokka’s mind while Zuko calmly shared how to help during a panic attack.

Sokka numbly nodded along, noting that what Zuko needed during a panic attack was different from his needs. Guess that’s the difference between anxiety and just straight up PTSD.

Then he immediately felt selfish, here he was worrying about his illogical, irrational anxiety when his boyfriend and gone through actual trauma.

So he listened and asked questions, never telling Zuko about the prescription of antidepressants he took every day and the small bottle of lorazepam that was for when the panic got out of control, not that he had needed that one in a while. Nor did Zuko know why he always went home at the end of the day no matter how late it was, to his own bed with his own weighted blanket that helped to keep him asleep. Keeping away even the most subconscious worries.

But now it had been two months, and Zuko was right it was too late to drive home and he was so tired.

If only he was too tired be anxious.

Finally after two hours of overthinking, counting sheep and willing sleep to come Sokka was swept up by exhaustion.

——————————

Zuko slowly started to wake. It wasn’t light out yet. The clock read 4am, what had stirred him from sleep?

It was then that he registered the soft shaking from behind him. Zuko turned over to see Sokka’s face twisted up in despair, his breaths coming in shallow and quick and his whole body jerking every few seconds.

Just before Zuko could reach out to comfort his partner Sokka shot up with a gasp holding his chest.

A soft whine escaped the crying boy’s mouth, in that moment Zuko was wide awake and gathering up his shaking boyfriend in his arms.

“Shhhhh, it’s okay…. You’re okay” He said softly over and over again while petting Sokka’s hair.

Sokka continue to shake as tears fell on Zuko’s arms.

“Sokka, Babe are you having a panic attack?” Zuko asked a little surprised.

The other boy nodded unable to speak.

“Okay, ummm, you’re in my room, you were staying because it was late, we were watching Lilo and Stitch earlier, uhh can you feel my hands in your hair?

Sokka nodded and tried to stop crying only for his breaths to stutter and stumble as his body heaved another sob from him without his consent.

“Sokka, how can I help?”

When the question finally registered with Sokka’s racing mind he grabbed his boyfriend’s hands and wrapped them tightly around himself in a constrictive hug. Zuko picked up on the nonverbal message and rearranged themselves so Sokka was between his legs with his back to Zuko’s chest and his arms wrapped tightly around him legs bracketing either side.

He kept a tight grip, continuing to speak to Sokka with soft reassurances that he was safe.

After sometime Sokka’s quick breathing began to slow and his tense body melted into Zuko’s, eventually he laid his head back against his boyfriends chest and quietly looked to the ceiling.

Zuko getting the message that he could loosen up relaxed his grip but kept himself loosely wrapped around his partner.

A minute of silence later Sokka said in a rough voice “Sorry for waking you up….”

Zuko looked flabbergasted “You’re Sorry? Sokka it’s not like you have control over your dreams.”

“Ya…. I know.”

He sounded so resigned and disappointed Zuko figured there was more than just a nightmare at play. He maneuvered Sokka around so they were facing each other, Sokka’s hands wrapped in Zuko’s.

Sokka was still resolutely looking at the bed and away from Zuko’s burning gaze.

“What’s going on in there Sokka? Please talk to me.”

Sokka nodded and opened his mouth a few times before any words came out.

“So ever since my Mom died and my Dad started to go on longer leaves with the Red Cross - I started to worry about Katara and my Gram Gram, and basically every single thing. I had back up plans for my back up plans. I made us a tornado kit that I made Gram Gram keep under the sink. We lived in Nunavut, we don’t even have tornados!”

Sokka stopped for a moment trying to figure out what to say next. Zuko could see his partner was feeling a little lost so he started rubbing soft circles into Sokka's hands as he held them.

“And then I was applying for universities and it stared to get really bad, panic attack after panic attack…. Sometimes for no reason, and sometimes they would last for days just one rolling into the next. Then I would feel hungover the next day without the fun drinking part before hand.

So Katara made an appointment and took me kicking and sternly refusing to the doctor, they uh… Well - So I have Generalize Anxiety Disorder and starting in uni I was also diagnosed with a panic disorder…”

Zuko clenched Sokka’s hands a little tighter in support to keep going.

“I have meds, I take em everyday, and I have a prescribed sedative for bad panic attacks. I have a routine, I go swimming, I take that stupid joy through dancing class with Aang because it makes me laugh, I go to consoling when I need it, I have my weighted blanket, and I paint. So I’m good right now. I wouldn’t have said yes to going out with you if I wasn’t okay, that wouldn’t be fair to either of us. I just didn’t know how to talk about it with you be-“

“Did you not tell me because you didn’t think I could handle it or because you thought I would think less of you?

Startled Sokka’s head snapped up to make eye contact with Zuko. “Spirits no! I think you’re the strongest person I have ever met…. I - I guess I thought less of myself, like I was less worthy of your love because I feel all these things for no reason, like even when I’m good right? Even when I’m good it will still bubble up in my sleep and I wake up - well like that. It was only after Katara bought me that weighted blanket that I started actually sleeping through the night.”

“Wighted blanket?”

“Ya I know, turns out actual science to back it up! Pressure to help relieve anxiety, like a hug, or -“

“or me laying on top of you on the couch! That’s why you got so relaxed and sleepy isn’t it?”

Sokka smiled sheepishly “Ya, once I figured out that pressure and touch kept me grounded I started getting really clingy with everyone. Toph had to start laying boundaries down, I now have to request a hug and she can and will deny them if she’s not in the mood.”

Zuko smiled softly “Ya that sounds like her.”

There was a silence as both of them tried to figure out what to say next. Sokka began to pick at his nails his hands still in Zuko’s.

Realizing his partner’s mind was beginning to wander somewhere away from him Zuko guided both of them back down onto the bed Sokka’s head tucked into his chest and for good measure he threw a leg over the taller man.

“Can I ask what it was about?”

Sokka spoke without looking up at Zuko “They’re usually all over the place sometimes its me in my high school math class and everyone knows the answer except for me, or the gym teacher is teaching us how to write essays, those ones I just wake up stressed and a bit confused about what year it is…. Other times I’m being chased or I need to help Katara or my Dad but I just can’t seem to reach them.

Once last year I had this really bad one where I was babysitting my cousins toddler and we were out for a walk and then I just walked away and left them in the snow…. I couldn’t find them for hours. I woke up thinking I had walked away from a kid and left him to die, I had to call my cousin to make sure the baby was okay. She was so confused because Tu is five now and I haven’t babysat him in four years.

I have had a few where I make Aang cry and Katara yells at me and they leave forever. I always bring a coffee and a hot chocolate for them the next day, because I feel so bad about hurting them even if it was while I was asleep. And tonight… I don’t really get them much anymore with the blanket so I haven’t had one since we started dating, and uh you talked about me falling asleep at the wheel just before we went to bed, and when I was brushing my teeth I could see how bad it was raining so I guess those thoughts stuck around because…”

Sokka clung tighter to Zuko as if to protect them both from an unseen force. Zuko kept rubbing his partners back and kissing the top of his head.

“I thought I was driving home from your place tonight, and they always feel so real. But for some reason you were with me and then car was spinning and the air… When it landed I could hear you asking for me, saying that you were bleeding. But I couldn’t move, I was frozen in place paralyzed and all I could do was listen, and then it was really quiet and I wasn’t sure if you were okay or - or if you had left or what. And it was raining and dark and all I wanted to do was turn around but I couldn’t.”

Zuko was a little thrown, Sokka was worried about him? About Zuko leaving Sokka?

“Hey babe look at me, Sokka love?”

Sokka tilted his head up to look at Zuko, he looked so apologetic like he had actually killed Zuko with his mind.

“Sokka I am okay, I promise. We didn’t go driving tonight. We stayed in at my house, we watched a movie. You made me so happy tonight, like you do everyday. I am so lucky to have you in my life. Okay?”

“kay.”

“But - and this is important. I want a partnership, I’m not looking for a therapist that sleeps with me I am looking for a relationship where we lean on each other. I need you to talk to me, trust that I will tell you my boundaries, I need this to go both ways. So from now on you have to start telling my this stuff okay?”

Sokka couldn’t look away, his eyes were twinkling with a few tears.

“You are amazing Zu, you know that?”

Sokka tilted his head asking for a kiss which Zuko happily obliged.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, I just didn’t want to mess this up. I really like you.”

“Well lucky for you I really like you to, now do you think you can sleep some more? I think I have a duvet somewhere in the closet.”

“Just hold me… please”

“I can do that, good night Sokka.”

“G’night Zu…”

—————————————————-

The next morning they had a long talk over pancakes, which ended with Sokka falling asleep on the couch with his head in Zuko’s lap while Zuko read.

And if next time Sokka slept over there was a brand new weighted blanket on his side of the bed, and if Zuko a typical little spoon was big spoon during exam week, and Sokka kept his meds in an overnight bag now, well that was no one else’s business except their own.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading <3 
> 
> Find more of my prompts at  
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/storytime-with-nora OR on AO3 Atla Prompts - Have at em!


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